Protecting My Heart Page 7

  “It can’t be that bad.”

  “Oh, trust me, it can be that bad.”

  Tristan grinned. “I’ll try not to disturb you any more than that.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Zeke shook his head. “Just make yourself at home.”

  “That’s really nice of you.”

  “It’s no problem. They may move you to a safe house soon, if the threat turns out to be as bad as it looks at a casual glance.”

  “As bad as it looks? Does it look that bad?”

  “They’re doing this knowing that you’re dealing with the cops. It seems a bit counterintuitive for people that were being so careful before. I don’t know what’s going on.”

  “Are you sure it’s them?”

  “Pretty sure. There’s no one else who can handle it.”

  “Handle what?”

  “The kind of stuff that they’re doing. It’s all dangerous.” Zeke shook his head. “It gets them noticed more. Identified as a more pressing threat. I don’t get it.”

  “I don’t know why they would do that sort of thing. It seems insane. I just want it to stop, so I went to the cops.” Tristan shook his head. “None of this makes sense.”

  “I feel like there’s something we’re missing, but don’t worry yourself about it. I’m sure we’ll get it all sorted out.”

  “You act like that’s a given. It’s not a given. What if you can’t catch them?”

  “Then we’ll figure out where to go from there. I don’t know why they’re doing this. Or if they’re just not afraid of getting caught. The leadership used to keep their people under control, and now they’re just blatantly damaging stuff and burning places down. I don’t know if this is an intimidation technique or what.” Zeke sighed. “I have to stay confident though. I’ve got to keep it together and stay hopeful.”

  Tristan chewed on his lip as he considered what Zeke was saying. “I’ll try not to be too much of a downer.”

  “You feel however you want to, don’t worry about me.” Zeke smiled. “My optimism isn’t dependent on yours. You’re allowed to be hurt. That’s your livelihood they’re attacking. It’s not mine. Don’t be afraid.”

  “Could have been yours,” Tristan mumbled under his breath.

  “What?”

  “Uh, nothing.” Tristan must have realized what he had said and quickly shook his head. “It’s not important.”

  Zeke slipped closer to Tristan and brushed his hair back from his eyes.

  Their eyes caught and soon another kiss overtook them. Passion and heat seemed to drag them down into an abyss where none of the bad things were happening. It was as if perfection had found them at that moment as they started to rip the clothes off each other, scattering them around the room.

  Chapter Ten

  Tristan was breathless when his lips parted from Zeke’s. The heat was undeniable and he couldn’t focus. He wanted to think about nothing but Zeke and fell into another kiss, his hands starting to roam over the other man’s chest that he had just laid bare to the cool air of the house.

  There they were, on the couch, touching each other. Tristan didn’t want to stop, but he knew that he probably couldn’t even if he wanted to. Not with the way that Zeke was touching him and he was having trouble controlling his breathing.

  “Is this what you want?” Tristan forced himself to ask the question.

  “Yeah.” Zeke didn’t stop toying with Tristan’s nipples with his thumb.

  “I want it too.” Tristan groaned against Zeke’s lips.

  Tristan’s hands started to wander over Zeke’s body, feeling the hard musculature that came with the job. Zeke had to stay in shape and Tristan definitely appreciated all those hours that he knew Zeke put in at the gym.

  “Yeah?” Zeke asked.

  “Yeah.”

  Zeke started to let his hands roam, tracing small hearts over Tristan’s flesh. It made him shiver with ecstasy. Tristan loved that feeling. It brought back memories of the nights they had spent together before it all ended. Before everything had changed and they had slowly drifted apart. Calling less. Texting less.

  It almost hurt to think about it. So, Tristan didn’t. He pushed that from his mind, focusing on the here and the now. Letting his brain concentrate on the pure electricity that was flowing between them. The way that Zeke’s body felt pressed up against him. On the sound that the denim of their jeans made as they rubbed their bodies together.

  “I love this feeling.” Zeke’s voice was soft.

  “This?” Tristan touched Zeke’s chest, toying with the flesh with tiny dancing touches.

  Zeke shivered in response. “Yeah, that.”

  “I love what you’re doing now,” Tristan whispered against Zeke’s lips, his body shaking in excitement.

  “I can tell.”

  Tristan laughed. “Is it that obvious?”

  “It’s pressing against my leg.” Zeke captured Tristan’s lips in another powerful kiss.

  “That’s because it’s happy to see you.”

  “Are you really using a cheesy line on me now?” Zeke moaned into another kiss.

  It was a while before they came up for air and Tristan could speak again. “Yeah. I’m totally going to do that.”

  “It’s still not enough to ruin the mood.” Zeke grinned as he captured Tristan’s lips. Zeke had weathered hands, accustomed to holding a weapon. His touches were gentle, the callouses softly scraping against Tristan’s skin.

  Tristan let out a soft moan, the sounds echoing past Zeke’s lips.

  “I wasn’t trying to ruin the mood.”

  Zeke laughed. It was a soft sound, seductively rumbling from his chest.

  “Good. Because I don’t want this mood to be ruined.”

  Tristan couldn’t help but let a soft moan escape the back of his throat. His own hands trailed down to the edge of Zeke’s pants, starting to trace around the waistband.

  He was taking his time, slowly working his way around to the belt buckle.

  “That’s a gun belt, be careful.”

  “Right,” Tristan grunted as he got around. “How do you get this thing off?”

  “It’s not that hard.” Zeke didn’t stop, still touching and playing with Tristan, his hands pools of heat against the baker’s skin.

  “I hope the gun belts the only thing that isn’t hard.”

  Zeke chuckled softly under his breath. “Trust me, it’s the only thing.”

  “Good to know.” Tristan touched more and more. His hands touched the other man wherever he could reach, moving from the skin to the roughness of the denim. The different textures excited him even more and he began to trace the pockets on his pants.

  “There’s a lot of things we could do tonight,” Zeke said.

  “Yeah. I know.”

  It made Tristan shiver with excitement. It wouldn’t be long until there was nothing between them. And he couldn’t wait for that. He needed that. He needed to feel something other than the constant frustration that had become his life. The fear that had surrounded him. He needed to feel Zeke.

  Tristan more than needed it. And the heat just intensified, stripping the terror and attacks from his mind. When his shop was destroyed, he had felt violated. Destroyed. Like they had gotten into him, taken part of his life away. Destroyed his freedom.

  Tristan didn’t want to feel like that anymore. Even if it was just to forget it for a short while. It had been so wrong. And it was still wrong. And it had happened three times now. There was no explanation.

  It was a little easier when Zeke was touching him like this. It let him forget his troubles, step away from them. But the truth was that it wouldn’t have mattered who it was at that moment. Zeke was just available and clearly attracted to him. That much was very clear from the bulge pressing up against his leg as their bodies tangled up on the couch.

  “I can show you,” Zeke said.

  “Why don’t you do it?”

  “Why me?” Zeke smirked at him. That smirk had power o
ver Tristan. Something he couldn’t quite identify. The kind of stuff that drew him out. It had happened before.

  Tristan smirked right back. “Not in the mood for an instruction manual right now.”

  Zeke chuckled, pulling one hand from around Tristan in order to unlatch the belt. He placed it on the table and then pulled Tristan to his feet.

  Tristan was gladly able to take care of the rest, pulling the man’s pants the rest of the way off. It took a lot less time than he was expecting. Maybe because of the way the jeans were a bit baggy to hide Zeke’s obvious assets. Assets that made Tristan nearly salivate.

  Then it stopped. It was just a split second and the look on Zeke’s face seemed to change. As if something about the situation was different than it was mere seconds before.

  “What’s wrong?” Tristan let out a frustrated grunt.

  “Should we be doing this?” Zeke seemed to pause halfway through stripping Tristan.

  “What?”

  “Is this a good idea?” Zeke asked.

  “What?”

  Zeke sighed. “Should we be doing this together?”

  “Doing this?” Tristan’s head was fuzzy. “Like this? Why?”

  “Are you sure this is what you want?” Zeke’s voice was a frustrated groan.

  “What are you talking about?” Tristan didn’t like the fact that Zeke had pulled away.

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “Are you sure you’re okay with it? I don’t want you to regret it.” Zeke didn’t seem to notice Tristan’s question. The man was obviously caught in his own head.

  Tristan groaned. “I don’t know.”

  “I don’t want you to look back on this as some kind of mistake.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Tristan asked, confusion painted on his face.

  “Just that I don’t know if this is what you really want,” Zeke repeated.

  “I think this is what I want,” Tristan said.

  “That’s what I was worried about.” Zeke sighed and pulled away from Tristan. “Why don’t we just slow down until everything gets a little clearer.”

  Tristan groaned loudly. “Yeah.”

  He didn’t like it at all. He didn’t want to slow down. He wanted to forget what was going on. He wanted to touch Zeke, but Zeke had a point. And he had to listen to it.

  “We let intense emotions take over.” Zeke rubbed his face and reached for his pants. “I don’t want it to be like this. Something you may regret because you’re doing it out of hurt.”

  “What makes you think that?” Tristan asked in a puzzled tone.

  “It’s always so hard to tell when someone is going through a rough time. I think we need to wait.”

  Tristan was hurt by the accusation, but he couldn’t deny the validity of it. There was a truth to those words. He was acting out of intense emotions. And maybe he wasn’t in the right place to make this kind of decision.

  “Thanks,” Tristan said, meekly.

  “Hey. It’s fine.” Zeke pulled on his jeans. “I just don’t want to be a mistake you regret. Or worse. A guy that took advantage of your weakness.”

  “You’re right.” Tristan sighed.

  “This is why I don’t sleep with drunk guys either if that makes any difference.”

  Tristan nodded. “Yeah. That matters.”

  “The last thing that I want to do is hurt you. I’m sorry.”

  “I guess it was a bad idea.”

  “You never really know until afterward.” Zeke was keeping his distance now. “I want you to want to be with me because you want me. Not because you think it’ll make you feel better.”

  Tristan sighed and started to dress. “I guess I feel a little like that.”

  “I don’t blame you for that,” Zeke said.

  “But why?” Tristan asked, not quite sure what to make of the whole situation.

  “Why what?” Zeke said, staring into Tristan’s eyes.

  “Why stop? It’s obvious we still want each other.”

  Zeke sighed. “Because I don’t want it to ruin this if it ends up going somewhere in the future.”

  Tristan’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry?”

  Zeke must have realized what he had just said. “I…”

  Tristan couldn’t respond and it looked like Zeke couldn’t figure out what to say either. It was just too much to handle. He knew that Zeke had stopped him from doing something he wanted to do.

  It was all so confusing, trying to figure out if he wanted Zeke because he wanted Zeke or if it was because he was lonely and hurting. It was such a weird headspace to be in.

  Tristan had never had anything really bad happen to him before. His life had normal speedbumps, the kind that everyone else’s had, but he hadn’t ever really been in danger. That sort of stuff happened to other people. It didn’t happen to him.

  He had a pretty good and peaceful life.

  Now it felt like all that was ending. Zeke had been right. He didn’t know why he was making the decisions he was making.

  Tristan didn’t know. And that bothered him, a lot.

  Zeke had done the right thing. And as much as Tristan didn’t want to admit it, he had to. It was the truth.

  “When did you get so smart about stuff like this?” Tristan asked. He was a bit more understanding of the situation.

  “Part of being a cop. I guess it’s part of our training. People on emotional highs don’t make great decisions and often regret those decisions.”

  Tristan looked down at his hands. They felt older than they were. “I guess, yeah. You’re right.”

  “Look. Once this is over. Once you’re not as upset, we can talk about going further with it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. I want to give it a try,” Zeke said, nodding, “But I don’t want it to start like this. I want to be sure you actually want more.”

  Tristan nodded. It felt like his world was falling apart, and he hated it. He had hoped to forget about it for a short while, but it hadn’t worked. Zeke had stopped him from possibly making a mistake.

  “You think I’d regret you?” Tristan asked.

  “I think I’ve done a lot of things that I regret and I don’t want you to do the same.”

  “That’s really nice of you.”

  “I’ll take the couch.” Zeke’s hand lingered on the back of Tristan’s hand for a while before he pulled away. “The bedroom is through there.”

  Tristan nodded mutely and got to his feet, walking back to the bedroom and closing the door behind him. There was a certain finality to it all like something was ending.

  Chapter Eleven

  Zeke stared at the front door of his place. His home. He was still sitting out in the car, not quite ready to face what was inside. Or rather who was inside. Tristan was there. Zeke had left before the guy had gotten up, leaving a note for him to stay in the house as much as he could. He didn’t know if Tristan had taken his advice.

  His worst fear was going inside and finding that it was empty. That Tristan was gone. He sighed. “Time to face that fear.”

  He climbed out of the vehicle and walked up to the door. Before he put the key in the lock he glanced back at his truck. The old dents and dings, the familiarity. It had served him steadily for years now.

  It reminded him to be happy. To appreciate all of the great things that had happened between him and Tristan. As well as all the great things that had happened with everyone else in his life.

  For some reason, at the forefront of all of those things that he was grateful for was Tristan. He scratched the back of his neck as the nervousness started to kick in hard. Something about Tristan made him nervous. Maybe it was just the fact that Tristan’s safety depended so heavily on him being able to close this case. Maybe it was because Zeke had known the man for so long.

  He sighed. It was time. Zeke let his keys jingle near the lock, but before he could fully unlock the door the portal seemed to open
on its own with the soft shifting noise of the deadbolt being turned.

  “I saw you out the peephole.” Tristan’s voice was quiet.

  “Nice job keeping a lookout for stuff.”

  “It seemed like common sense. If I hear something outside the door, I can check it out through the peephole,” Tristan said, shrugging.

  “You would be surprised how many people don’t think about that.” Zeke shook his head. “People are a little silly sometimes.”

  “A little?”

  “Well, maybe more than a little.”

  “That’s probably closer.”

  “This coming from the guy who runs a bakery that sells fancy cupcakes.”

  “Cupcakes are silly?” Tristan asked with a smile laugh coming out.

  “Have you ever really thought about that?” Zeke laughed lightly. “They seem a little silly in a lot of ways.”

  “Those cupcakes are amazing, thank you very much.” Tristan cocked his head with a grin on his face.

  “They really are.”

  “It’s a shame our donuts are getting delayed.” Tristan frowned and leaned back in his chair. He was a bit upset by that.

  Zeke assumed that it was a reminder of the things that had happened in his life over the past week. Actually, it was less than a week. So many changes. So much damage, and now Tristan couldn’t really go home. At least not safely.

  “Yeah, it is.”

  “How did work go?” Tristan asked.

  “We’re making some headway.”

  Zeke didn’t want to say that they had spent hours digging into surveillance camera footage and traffic cams. It was a lot of work. And a lot of tedium. They hadn’t found anything yet, but at least they knew where and when to look. So that was more than they had before.

  “It may take us some time,” Zeke added.

  “Any idea how long?”

  “We’ve got guys working on it, don’t worry. You’re going to be fine.”

  “Did everyone else get to safety?”

  “Your dad came and gave a statement. Then he and your mom went to visit a friend about an hour away. Your employees are staying with friends. Everything is just fine.”

  Tristan nodded. “Dad called and asked if I wanted to go with him, but I figured it was best if I stayed here in town.”